Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Grey Day

My father in law died today. He had been ill for sometime and was being nursed at home as he really didn't want to go into hospital. As it was he died peacefully surrounded by his family which was what he wanted but it's obviously still devastating for everyone. I've had to do my best to curb my restlessness and focus on supporting his family. I'm currently taking 200mg Chlorpromazine at night as well as all my usual pills. Last week they were threatening to take me into hospital and add some Olanzapine as I was not sleeping and getting pretty exhausted. I feel guilty at the moment as despite the family trauma my head is still buzzing. I am trying my best to help my wife through this but my head is still full of music. I just hope I can contain myself over the next few days.

Wednesday, November 02, 2016

Tired Of Waiting

So the shrink never turned up last Thursday. I phoned the office several times but just got an answering machine. I've had a letter since saying she's coming this Thursday. I've been high and not sleeping much. On Saturday night I was tired and took 100mg Chlorpromazine and copious amounts of alcohol,

I managed to get a few hours sleep. I saw the OT on Monday who at least gave me his phone number so I can try and get in touch with the shrink in future. I've been buying bits and bobs off Amazon but so far not too much. I managed to format the wrong drive on my music PC and lost two weeks worth of music! What a waste. I've decided to format the blog in a bigger font as my eyesight is failing. The CPN phoned to say she would come this week but I told her I was already in overload with the OT and the psychiatrist. Honestly it's like waiting on a bus; none for ages then three come at once. I'm still sleeping very little and spending about 16 hours a day recording music. I'm busy, busy, busy, but don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm getting very irritable with everyone as they are so slow. And I am getting frustrated with my inability to mange the drives on my PC. I have to get back to the music. Goodbye! ;)