Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Eat It

The sparrow returned today and asked all the usual questions; any intrusive thoughts, how are you sleeping, any side effects from the pills, any problems etc. I told her I was fine and currently no problems other than my weight. I am now 18 stones, I used to be 11 stones. I explained how I had put on a stone per month while on Olanzapine and thank fuck it was now stopped. She said the valproate my also be contributing to my weight gain.

She then pointed out how last week I had focused on the psychological changes since becoming ill and this week I was focussing on the physical changes. She queried whether I could accept that I am a different person now. I said no, I pined for the old me. She asked if I envisaged coming to terms with this in the future and again I said not really. She asked if my wife had come to terms with new me. I told her yes, my wife says I used to be Mo#1 and now I am Mo#2 but she still loves me.

I hate Mo#2 and wish I could regain my sparkle and trim figure.

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