Tuesday, December 09, 2014


Well I went into hospital on Thursday for cardioversion and am now fixed!

The day centre is going great and I am attending three times a week. I am also busy recording a new album. So at the moment everything is fabulous.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Slave To The Rhythm

My mood remains good but I continue to have problems with my heart. I am now in atrial fibrillation (irregular heartbeat) and waiting to go into hospital for cardioversion (electric shock to the heart) to force me back into a normal rhythm. First they have to slow down my heart rate with Bisoprolol and prevent clotting with Rivaroxaban so I should go into hospital in about three weeks.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014


The day centre has been going well. I am starting to get to know some of the folks. I particularly enjoy the art group in which I am learning to paint... read that as learning to cover my trousers in acrylics.

My mood has been stable but unfortunately my heart has not been. On Sunday I developed central chest pain which persisted throughout the day, eventually I called NHS24 who arranged for an ambulance to take me to hospital. They thought it was pericarditis but also thought I had a touch of stable angina so was prescribed Ivabradine 2.5mg twice daily.

Friday, August 22, 2014

All By Myself

I went to the new day centre today. I was a bit nervous, it was like the first day at school. The staff were really nice and played pool with me. I did know one guy who chatted a bit but I mostly sat on my own in silence. Hopefully it will be better next time.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I Can't Explain

Things are still going well at the moment. I have finished recording another album which I am pleased with. I am still waiting to hear from the rehab team as to when I shall get my new shrink...ZZZzzzzzzz.
On the plus side I have been referred and accepted into a new day centre where I shall go twice a week for art and social therapy. Hopefully I will be able to get out of bed in time, I've been doing a lot of sleeping recently which usually means I am going down. On the other hand I have been busy creating new blogs which usually means I am getting high... so I just don't know what's going on with me at the minute. I can't explain.

Friday, May 30, 2014


Things have improved dramatically over the past week and I am now feeling much better. I have been doing the exercises given to me by the physio and continue to walk the dog every day. Today is a real red letter day for me as my driving licence arrived in the post! It's been renewed for 3 years and I am over the moon.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

View From A Bridge

I have just been released from the looney bin. About 4 weeks ago I stood on a bridge contemplating jumping off, of course I was too pathetic to actually proceed despite the voices telling me to jump. It was a very embarrassing affair. I felt my head was hollow, my brain had been scooped out by a curette. I was admitted to hospital and spent about three and a half weeks in the bin. I barely slept while I was in and watched the sunrise each morning from my room...

I am so embarrassed by my weakness and I am totally ashamed of the pain this caused to my family and friends. I am now no longer suicidal and feel much better. I am trying to walk the dog every day but that is about it. I will write more when I am feeling better.

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Bloody Shrink

Got a letter from the DVLA saying that the reason they haven't got back to me is that they are still waiting on a response from my psychiatrist despite sending him a reminder. Mrs Mo tried to phone him today but needless to say he is on holiday. His secretary is adamant they haven't received any correspondence from the DVLA. I'm seriously pissed off.

Saturday, April 05, 2014


I am doing well at the moment; sleeping well, writing and recording music and have played a couple of gigs with my band. All in the garden has been rosy for a couple of months now.

The rehab team finally came to assess me on Thursday and boy did they make an appearance, they came en masse. A psychiatrist, a CPN, an OT and a medical student. However thankfully only the psychiatrist had the power of speech, the other three remained mute. I was asked about my history and how I had first presented to the service. The poor old shrink looked pained with sympathy (ho hum) but to be fair she was very nice. I forgot to sit down on the one remaining seat and instead paced the floor throughout the interrogation. Fortunately no one commented on this, they just looked on sympathetically grrrrr. After about an hour they left to make a decision about me in private. They will contact my CPN who will let me know in time if I am suitable. It was just like a job interview.

I applied to have my driving licence renewed in January but am still waiting to hear back from the DVLA. This is a real pain as I am well at the moment and keen to get out and about. And the fishing season has started!