Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Five Years

It's all been a bit wacky since the last post. I was full of life and full of fun but got a bit overexcited. I reverted to dropping Largactil (Chlorpromazine/Thorazine) to calm down and get a handle on things. Unfortunately the old Largactil gives me palpitations and makes me reach for the GTN spray. Eventually I took to bed to try and reduce all the stimulation. Because I was in bed Mrs Mo thought I was depressed and it made me wonder was I having some sort of mixed episode? If so this was new for me. Anyway, after a few days in bed I rose like Lazarus to once again face the world. Well, not exactly face the world but at least the living room and the cat. I have not left the house. I'm too irritable, people drive me crazy. Mrs Mo has phoned the radio station these past two weeks to say I wouldn't be in. I have been busy writing and recording songs. Tunes are just blasting out of my head but completing stuff is difficult.

I got the annual summons to visit the GP for a "double appointment" to review my "chronic mental health problem". However, I didn't feel well enough to see the doctor, this phrase always tickles Mrs Mo. But I loathe seeing doctors and can only tolerate them when I'm relatively well. I hate the interrogations, they never offer any help, treatment or therapy. They just ask lots of questions so that they can tick their boxes, do their risk assessments, meet their targets and earn their commissions. None of this is any benefit to me. It's just them making money out of our taxes. Anyway, Mrs Mo went to my appointment instead. Portillo revealed that Moonstone had written to him saying she thought I was a bit high. He wanted to see me and if I don't appear within the next month he will come to the house and see me. Hmmmm.

I've still never heard about my driving licence (which runs out tomorrow) but I did get a brilliant letter from the Department Of Work & Pensions today. They have decide to continue my Disability Living Allowance. I will continue to receive the high rate of care allowance and the low rate of mobility allowance for another FIVE YEARS!!!! Yowza! The new Tory/Lib Alliance are all set to slash benefits and investigate all claims rigorously but at least I'm off to a good start. It would be great if they really left me alone until 2015... maybe they will.... but I doubt it.But hey! Five Years!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Waking Up

Last night I dreamed a nurse told me about the new DSM codes for bipolar disorder. She explained there would now simply be two possible diagnoses; "Bipolar Psychiatry" and "Bipolar Second Generation". "Which shall I fall under?", "Bipolar Second Generation" she replied. When I asked what this meant she said that it signified second generation Nazi. I woke up before I could ask her if this meant I was a second generation Nazi or simply fell into the age-group of people who were a couple of generations behind the Nazi regime in Europe. I woke perplexed knowing that I won't see Moonstone for 6 months so can't clarify this.

These days my dreams are so vivid and my days are so vague I wonder which is the real waking state. When I go to bed at night do I fall into consciousness? and then in the morning climb out of bed into unconsciousness?

In the daytime dreamstate I am still busy recording music... oh and I have also now applied for my temporary driving licence.